Anniversary

by Pil Lee

In the antiverse, black is white, love is hate and life is death.

In the antiverse, Sherry Peacock is a man. She is big and hairy and has side of beef knees. Her voice is deep, but gets a bit whiny under pressure. She is married to Dawn, who used to be a journalist until she married and gave up work. Dawn was only a journalist for 6 months, but still, two decades on, she tells strangers at dinner parties that she’s an ex-journo.

In the antiverse, Sherry has a problem with premature ejaculation, but Dawn doesn’t seem to notice. At least, she’s never said anything. Sherry wonders about that sometimes, briefly. She also wonders whether her oldest son, Brent, has the same problem. Brent’s 20. Her little boy Cain is only twelve. He was an accident. Not premature that night.

In the antiverse, it’s nearly 20 years since Sherry and Dawn were married. The big day is on May 2nd, and Sherry knows Dawn has already bought a gift for her. It’s in the boot of the car. Sherry’s not allowed to look. She hasn’t been able to get her crowbar out of the boot for two weeks, and the bloody concrete step out the back has slipped again.

Sherry has no idea what gift to give Dawn. She has asked some of her mates, but all their suggestions have been either boring or lewd. Time is running out, but slowly an idea begins to form. On the morning of the 2nd, Dawn leaves for her leg wax. Sherry goes into the bedroom and puts together an attractive outfit from Dawn’s wardrobe. It fits better than she expected. She uses Dawn’s make-up and paints her face in pretty colours. Her head is a little balding, but she teases the hair at the back and curls the ends. Luckily her feet fit into a pair of Dawn’s sandals, with just a bit of heel hanging out over the back.

It’s nearly time for Dawn to get back home, and Sherry waits inside the front door. She hears Dawn’s footsteps and her key in the lock and then the door opens. Sherry throws her arms wide.

“Happy Anniversary Dawn”, she cries with a huge smile.

“It’s Happy Antiversary, you idiot,” says Dawn, and shoots her with the AK-47 from the boot.