Exercises

Quick story writing technique (see here for description).

Phrase: lightly up the river
Action: pissing in the wind
Noun: penis

Strangers said Derek. Complete strangers. When the two of them met that wintry afternoon on the Dauphin’s lawn there was nothing that could possibly connect them. She was ice cold, haughty, impossibly beautiful yet yearning for a firm hand. He was weak, thin, but inspired. He suggested they go down and take a punt lightly up the river, far from the meaningless hubbub of the party. She agreed. In ten minutes they were alone, staring into each other’s eyes. One of her eyebrows was lifted in quizzical amusement. Was this man serious, or just pissing in the wind like so many others? For his part, he stood in the stern, one foot up on the tiller, looking like a particularly pensive, particularly confident scarecrow. Either of them was yet to speak.

She broke the connection, looked down at the glassy surface of the water, and disturbed it with a languid motion of her hand. “I hate you” she said. “I hate you” he replied. They were no longer strangers. She slid his hand into his trousers to hold his penis.

by Peter Gifford

Phrase: swept past the watchtower
Action: made a connection
Noun: fool

It was full of worms. Wriggling. Sliding. Twisting. Turning. Sam closed the lid and looked away. What to do? The river was too cold and too fast as it swept past the watchtower. He couldn’t swim. But could he face riding in a box full of these vermin?

Maybe if he made a connection, using fine wire, between the boat and the power supply left behind by the enemy. He could roast them. Possibly eat them before beginning the long treacherous journey out of darkness. But he had no such wire.

Again he stepped his big toe in the murky depths and it instantly turned purple with the chill. He’d never survive. It was the worms, or bust.

He opened the lid and stepped in. Then realised he’d been a fool. They’d never left, the enemy. They’d stayed behind and died, as he, too, would now surely die.

The box full of worms was no ordinary box.

by Karen Goldrick

Phrase: as thick as a brick
Action: stoking the Edwardian fireplace
Noun: the bridge

Fraser had never been in this position before. He desperately asked his colleagues for advice but they were all as thick as a brick. He knew that he had promised Mary that he would be careful but that was just stoking the Edwardian fireplace. It was time to make a decision and now there was no going back. There was just one more thing in his way. He stood by his father’s grave and in the cold light of dawn and received the same answer he’d always had. With a heart heavy with futility he walked to the bridge.

by Pil Lee