Exercises
Quick story writing technique (see previous page for description).
Exercise One
Phrase: he swept away the remains
Action: distributing wealth
Noun: spectacles
Three men and seven women were standing together in a circle holding hands. They were in a muddy field, somewhere in the midwest of America. It was deep, dark night. A pallid moon shone a soft silver glow on their naked bodies. They surrounded a pit whose bottom was lost in inpenetrable darkness. One man broke the circle and knelt to a pile of bones at his feet. With one sudden gesture he swept away the remains and they fell into the pit. He stood.
“We are here to distribute the wealth of our Lord,” he said in a strong, harsh voice. “Tonight we gather together for the final blessing, to damn the heretics and exault the saintly.”
The circle of participants began to hum softly. One of them, a short, overweight woman, adjusted her spectacles and spoke in a tiny, squeaky voice.
“Ummm, does anyone know where the bathroom is?” she said.
by Peter Gifford
Phrase: ignoble to the end
Action: firing a gun
Noun: a ladder
The last page was missing. Janice checked twice, then ran her fingers back through the pages now read, checking the numbers.
They were all there.
Just 312 missiing.
The last page.
“Damn,” she said, then a few other words best not written. Frustrated, she checked behind the couch, under her pillow, in the cutlery drawer.
She ran to the place in the bookshelf where it had stood, unread, for at least twenty years, covered in a fine film of dust and ignoble to the end. But the missing page wasn’t there.
She checked the title page. The publishers. Anger brewed and fermented in her brain, and she felt like firing a gun. The publishers were not listed in the A-Z. Had no website.
She did a google search anyway.
Tears blurred her eyes as she rang every book shop in the yellow pages, but none had it in stock. Most had never heard of it — or if they had — said it was long out of print.
“Someone ... someone in the whole fucking world must know the ending.”
In the corner of the library room she spied a ladder. Perhaps if she viewed this problem from a new perspective, all would become clear.
She climbed up. Past the rows of books, the dusty architraves, the picture rails, high up until she could touch the ceiling. Then she turned around.
There, on top of the bookshelf, covered in web and small dead flies, was page 312. She leaned down, but as she did, the rung she stood on gave way.
It was rotten.
She fell.
The heroine died, as they do.
by Karen Goldrick
Exercise Two
Phrase: within a week of their last argument
Action: lit the handle
Noun: candelabra
There was a scratching at the door. Sandra and Nicholas, both in the kitchen preparing the night’s meal, turned simultaneously to look at each other.
“Are you expecting anyone?” said Sandra.
“Nooo ...” said Nicholas.
They were still looking at each other when the scratching came at the window. Sandra and Nicholas both frowned. Things were shaky between them, and this was coming within a week of their last argument.
“You said it would be just us tonight” said Sandra.
“I told you, I’m not expecting anyone” said Nicholas.
Suddenly the lights went out. Nicholas passed a hand over the benchtop until his hand found something candle-shaped, and flicking his cigarette lighter discovered he had lit the handle of one of Sandra’s paintbrushes.
“You idiot” said Sandra.
“Shhhh” said Nicholas.
“Take this candelabra you fool” said Sandra.
“Don’t call me a fool” said Nicholas.
“OK you dickwad” said Sandra.
“Bitch” said Nicholas.
“Arsehole” said Sandra.
The scratching at the window had long since stopped.
by Peter Gifford
Phrase: tongues locked in passionate kiss
Action: edified
Noun: shoehorn
At first he thought he had beaten them, and he rested behind a rock. But before a minute had passed Rob could ear the snuffling and grunting and knew they were on his trail.
The sun was high, and the few trees provided little shade and no cool. He shrank as small as possible, breathed himself into the rock, and waited for them to pass.
They stopped. Rob looked out. They stood, heads locked together in passionate kiss. Too stunned to make good his escape, Rob stood and walked over.
“What the heck?” he said, his voice raw and dry.
They broke apart, and blood spilled down the female’s lips. Her toothless smile edified the whole situation and Rob knew he had to run. He had no weapon, and his legs were spent. They would catch him before the next outcrop. He had nothing in his bag but an old leather shoehorn, and a useless quill. Perhaps he could gauge the eyes of the female, smaller one, but he’d never have a hope with the male.
He felt their breath on his neck, and waited for their claws to grab his arms. Then, they were gone, and they’d never been there. The sun dipped behind a cloud, and he wiped the sleep from his eyes.
by Karen Goldrick