Michele’s Critique of Simon’s ‘Faerie Tale’

by Michele deBes

Simon’s story starts with a strong opening paragraph that is instantly engaging.

eg ‘Murray was an intricate man. His heart was coiled like a clock spring ...’

This ability to start strong seems to become more evident with the group exercises. One of my favourite being, from memory: ‘I am running while I write this.’

He wastes no time in delivering a deeper insight into his characters with deceptively simple observations.

eg ‘He never smiled at strangers and seldom at friends but he made an effort with acquaintances.’

His characters and subject matter are often treated with a gentle ironic humour and this is one of the reasons I find his stories so enjoyable. He does not condemn or judge the foibles of his characters but renders them more accessible and endearing.

eg ‘Murray always worked with a whiteboard which he would unveil after the final bowl of nibbles.’

His clever use of contrast adds elements of surprise through the story.

eg. “ ... a man with no soul, such as yourself, lives off the sweat of others and the future is long but not bright.” she paused and added as if as an afterthought. “Do you need a cleaner, for free?”

I was hard pressed to find elements to criticise in this story and with much studying only came up with these two.

Simon has a tendency to pack many ideas into long sentences that can be confusing.

eg ‘He was in control of his finances, able to link his expenditure charts to the vague pyramid selling plans he hawked as decent hard-working small businesses that were just waiting for the right little man to sign up for.’