Group Therapy
by Karen Goldrick
“This night, the night of the fifth lexicon, we will explore the concept ... to touch.” Sky raised his hands and his long white sleeves fell to his elbows. River walked barefoot across the boards and also raised her bare hands, until her fingertips touched his.
The group gasped. As one. All but one. Danial did not. He might have smiled. He might not. Scented mist and music of pipes crept from the shrouds around the room. There were four, in the group. There had been five but Sone had not returned after the first lexicon. So now there were four: Danial, Cassandra, and Maximil and his co-depend Iris.
“To allow ourselves to feel these sensations we require an atmosphere of love, honesty and trust. We must all let go. Only by catharsis of untruths can we return to intimacy.” Sky looked at each in turn. “We must all remove one untruth from our being, and cast it out for all to see.”
The four sat upright on silken pillows. Cassandra moved another pillow behind her. Iris picked one up and held it in her lap. Still Danial did not move. River tossed her long greying hair over her shoulders and sat before them.
“I will be the first. There is one untruth which by the Goddess within I must lose.” She glanced over at Sky, and smiled at him. He returned her smile. “ I have had intimate relations with one in the group before now.”
Maximil grunted. “With your partner, the S-man. So what! Isn’t that what this tantric stuff is about. You show us what to do.”
River smiled at him. “ You misunderstand. Indeed, I have had many intimate relations with my beloved Sky. Daily we defy this society which fails to understand this expression of our love. Our Passion.”
Iris pulled the pillow closer to her chest.
“But, I have had intimate contact with another present in this room.” River looked steadily at Sky.
“Beloved, will you say with whom?”
“Beloved, I cannot. For that is another’s untruth.”
For a few minutes there was silence, filled by the music from the periphery. Sky motioned the lights down a little, and their faces merged with the shadows.
“Well it bloody wasn’t me.” snorted Maximil. “So if it wasn’t the S-man, it must have been Danial.” Everybody turned to Danial. Cassandra thought she saw a smirk.
“So, was it Danial, Madame R?”
“That is not my untruth to cast,” replied River.
“Well that’s no fun. It must have been you, Mr D. C’mon. what d’ya think Iri, Cass? Unless she’s a ...”
“Enough, my friend,” said Sky. “It is your turn now.”
Maximil folded his arms and scratched his face where a beard might have been. “This isn’t easy. I don’t think I can beat Madame R.”
“There is no need to compete, Maximil. Search your soul and the goddess within. You will know what to cast.”
“But I never bloody tell lies. I call it how I see it. What you see is what you get with me. None of this bloody mysteriousness.” He looked to his partner. “Back me up, Iri. There are no untruths. I’d have to make one up.” Iris might have flushed in the dull light. She might not. “OK. I’ve got it. This is it. My untruth cast out for all to see. You see ...” and he stopped scratching his face with newfound resolve “I never wanted to come. To this Tantric stuff. Not my thing. All this going back to our roots, the way we used to be. Progress. That’s what life’s about. Leave it to the apeman to have all that groping and grunting. Ire and I have managed to reproduce without all that effort and hard work. Twice. And ...there are better ... quicker ways to satisfy ...”
“Cleaner ways,” added Iris.
“So why did you come along then, Maximil?” Sky leaned forward, his long beard and hair spilling off his knees.
“For Ire. She wanted to come. She’s been after doing this community education stuff ...’though I don’t know why she can’t just do latex design or a bloody credit saving course. So I make out like I wanna do all this touching skin stuff. But I don’t. These gloves are staying on.” Maximil’s hands, coated in the almost see-through symtec gloves, folded behind his head.
“Perhaps you should leave.” River’s suggestion might have sounded cold. It might not.
“What! Why? At least I’m being honest. That’s what you wanted. How about asking the one with whom you’ve had intimate contact to leave. That wasn’t in the agreement. We were supposed to be untouched.” Maximil said, the last to Danial.
“Maximil has a right to stay, Beloved. Our friends are not obliged in any way to remove their gloves if they do not wish. Perhaps Iris, you would be next?”
Iris’ gloved hands clutched the cushion to her chest. “I ... I’m still ... I need to think about it ... a bit. Can you come back to me? Please, Sky?”
Sky smiled, bland and reassuring. “Cassandra?”
“Oh I’ve loads of secrets. The hard part is deciding which to tell, Which untruth will release me so I can feel eternal bliss. Do the dance, hold the breath. I can’t wait.”
“Look within, Cassandra. Let the Goddess guide you.”
There was silence, filled again by the music and the sound of Cassandra’s gloved nails scraping along a cushion.
“Well c’mon Cass, let it out. See if you can shock us,” said Maximil.
“I think I can shock you, Max. but the Goddess won’t let me. She wants me to release an untruth about that big bad dinosaur Sector Holdings.”
“What about Sector Holdings?” It was Danial who spoke up. Everybody turned to him.
“Hey. Mr D speaks! So go on Cass, what can you tell us about Sector Holdings that we cant hear on the uninet?”
“That it was Sector Holdings who released the mutec. They were under contract to attempt biological control of cockroaches, and it all went horribly wrong.”
“Bulldedeist! Cass...you’re supposed to emit your own truth. Who cares about that baby?”
“I do Max. We all should. It changed the Western World. It’s been on my conscience for three years now. Ever since I uploaded the leak on a broadscan search. I’ve felt so inhibited. Repressed. Now I can just let go.”
“Sector Holdings does not ... did not release information on BS.”
“I know Danial. I was surprised. Shocked! Devastated! To think a Private Holder caused all that infertility. And we all thought it was a natural mutation.”
“I thought we thought it was bloody germ warfare.” interrupted Maximil. ”Anyway it happened so long ago it doesn’t matter.”
“Cassandra,” Sky interrupted, “Is this the untruth you wish to cast out?”
“It is, Sky. I know it’s risky ... but ... I feel I can trust the group.”
Sky coughed, and looked to Danial.
“It is my turn?”
“Go ahead, Danial.”
“Then I will tell you that I am a Viagrant sex-droid.”
“What the ...”
“Danial!”
“So what the bloody hell are you doing here? Does your programming require some sort of update?”
Sky gestured them all to silence.“You don’t need to answer Maximil, Danial. You have cast your untruth.”
“I can answer. I was built by Viagrant, and leased to Verbatim Datlife. Every six months, Viagrant retrieved me, wiped my memory and reprogrammed me. I have an infinite data chip which makes me more ... versatile. But after six months I know too much. Two years ago Viagrant relinquished their contract. They have a new prototype. Two months ago I left Verbatim Datlife. Now I am alone.”
“You left. On your own? But Danial, they’ll get you.”
“Yes, Cassandra. They will. Eventually.”
“ That doesn’t explain what you’re doing here, droid. Does your infinity chip make you some sort of pervert?”
“Maximil!”
“Iri if he’s just spying on us ... if he gets his kicks by seeing us ... gloveless ... or worse, I wanna know. You know me, I like to know all the details before I sign on.”
“Danial you do not need to explain,” said River.
“I can answer. My infinite data chip requires more information. It requires all knowledge of intimate contact. It requires knowledge of the firebreath.”
“So you can charge extra credit?” said Maximil
“Enough, Maximil.” said Iris. She had cast her cushion away from her. “At least he is being honest. Maybe he wasn’t honest before, when we were all supposed to be untouched, But he is honest now, when we cast away our untruths.” She turned to Sky. “I think I am ready.”
He nodded.
Iris drew a slow breath. “I’m not sure if this is really my untruth, It belongs to...to other people, see. Not really me at all. But I know I can’t go further unless I cast it out. So here goes.” She paused, as if she would go no further.
“Go on Iri.”
“I’m not stupid, you know.”
“Nobody said ...”
“Just because I’ve never done it doesn’t mean I don’t know the signs. The smell. There’s a smell, isn’t there, that goes with all this intimacy. The smell of deception. The smell of ... bodily fluids. I know the smell.”
“What are you talking about, Iri?”
“The smell doesn’t go away.” She started to cry, soft and noble. “I don’t think I can do this, Sky.”
“We’re all with you, Iris. Reach within yourself. Feel the trust.”
“Let your inner Goddess guide you,” added River, taking her hand.
Iris tried to stop crying, taking several deep breaths. She didn’t try hard enough. Maximil patted her uselessly on the shoulder.
“How could they do such a thing? It’s disgusting. Foul. Dirty.”
“Iri!”
“With no clothes on.”
“Oh God ... Goddess ... whatever ... Iri I only did it once.”
Iris covered her face with her hands.
“Just once. Just one time, and it wasn’t even all that good ...”
“I though it was fun!”
“Well ... it was OK Cass but Iri ... I’m so sorry. I just wanted to see ... we were practising the slow taking in of oxygen and ... I never meant for you to know.”
Iris stopped crying. “How dare you Maximil. That’s two untruths you’ve cast out. It was my turn. You always were greedy and thoughtless.”
“Would you like to go on, Iris.” Sky asked gently.
“No. No, I don’t think so.”
“Oh Iris, you don’t know what you’re missing.”
“I think I do, Cassandra.”
Iris patted the tears away with her gloved hands. “We should never really have come. This sort of thing is not for ordinary people, like us. It’s for outsiders. Extremists. And ...” she looked at Danial “Sex Droids.”
Sky motioned the lights up and the music stopped.
“Do you cast away an untruth, Sky?” asked Danial.
“Yes, my friends. I also must cast out before we go on.” he paused a while, folding his bare fingers together. For a while there was nothing but the quiet. Sky might have sighed. he might not.
“The Goddess has spoken.” he said. “I will tell you all that I am not that whom you think you see.”
River folded the translucent shrouds, and collected the cushions into a pile. She pulled back the glove of her right hand and pinched then skin of her wrist.
“Do you think they will all return for the final lexicon, Beloved?” she asked, as she handed him a tiny transparent cylinder.
“Thank-you, my love,” he replied as he took it and inserted into his wrist. “ And no, they will not all return for the final lexicon, the fire-breathing.”
“I am sorry, Sky. I did not tell you of Danial before. Will you inform the Recons?”
“I must.”
“Then, Danial will not return.” River replaced her symtec glove. “I like him, Sky. Of all of us he is perhaps closest to self-truth.”
“It is not up to us to like, or not to like. Order must be maintained.”
“The Goddess has spoken.”
“She has. Cassandra will return. She too, has an infinity chip.”
“What about Sector Holdings, my Beloved?”
“It matters not whether they believe it was Sector Holdings or a natural mutation or germ warefare. Sector Holdings has never existed. It was not they who destroyed the human race. What matters is that they do not know the truth.”
“I know, Beloved. Only if they believe in their humanity, will we all go on. What of the others?”
“Iris and Maximil will dissolve their partnership. Iris will probably go to Recon. Maximil is...unpredictable. He may return.”
“I do not like Maximil, Sky, but as you say it is not up to us.”
“These are dangerous times, River. Time was when the chips would not allow us to hold untruths. Time was a sex-droid never left his employment. But now there is...unpredictability. It needs to be removed. Order must be maintained if we are to go on. We must maintain order, as they could not.”
“The Goddess has spoken Sky.”
“The Goddess has spoken.”