One Horse Town

by Pil Lee

Abe’s horse lay obediently on her side, while Abe scanned the street for possible clients.

His one-step removable horse shoe invention usually had a crowd agape around him, but this was the sorriest town he’d ever been in. He and Maisie had only been in position for fifteen minutes, but already he could tell it was a washout.

He stood and dusted his trousers and made for the saloon, sardonically tipping his hat to the one old cowpoke staring from the side of the road. A loud grunt from Maisie bought him up sharp and he tipped his hat to her too.

“That?s enough young lady, up you get now.”

Maisie lumbered to her feet and ambled after him, put out at the lack of attention she usually enjoyed, and she gave Abe an annoyed nip as he tied her to the saloon rail.

The bar was darker than most and was ripe with the smell of sweat and stale beer. Abe made out the ancient barmaid through the gloom and slipped a silver dollar onto the counter.

“A shot of your finest whisky, and keep them coming,” he beamed heartily at the woman, fearing the quality of the tipple, but, as he often told Maisie while they were travelling from town to town, life wasn’t meant to be easy.

The whisky was as foul as he’d expected, but it was a reason to be in the saloon, where he could talk to the locals and drum up interest in his invention.

He took his drink to the nearest table and settled back to inspect the possibilities.

The whore at the piano flashed him a bit of varicose vein and he tipped his hat as non-committally as he could. From another table a sunken rouged cheek dimpled at him and he glanced quickly away, searching out a bit of baccarat and business. But as his eyes swung form one hopeful hag to another, he realised he was the only man present.

His first thought was to leave, but then he reminded himself that he was a here to sell, and you never knew where you could find a buyer.

“Ahem,” he cleared his throat, addressing the room at large. “Do any of you lovely ladies have a horse?”

As one the room seemed to beam at him. Abe shot back his whisky and rose to meet the giantess coming towards him through the tables.

Much taller than any woman he had ever met, she seemed to be the spokeswoman for the rest of the whores, who gazed adoringly at her as she passed.

Her voice was low and throaty, and Abe was relieved to see she was less hideous than the others around her.

“We all have one,” she purred at him.

“You do?” said Abe in surprise, then cursed himself for his unprofessional attitude. He put on his most winning smile.

“I have a most remarkable and beneficient invention to show you ladies,” he said. He gestured to the door. “If you would step this way, I am sure you will be amazed and stupefied.” He took his hat in his hands and assumed his solemn face. “And the price will amaze and gratify you as well, you have my promise.”

No-one moved and the woman standing fanned herself with a thin grey hand. “Naturally we don’t like the sun on our complexions,” she murmured. “Perhaps we could wait until it’s a little lower in the sky?”

Abe spread his hands. “But of course,” he said, patting his hat back on his head. “I will be at your ladies most kindly disposal at any time.” He bowed, then made his way through the room. As if on an afterthought he turned back just before the door. “Ah, just to while away the time until we have our demonstration,” he said, “are there any, ahem, of your ladies’ patrons I might visit?”

TO BE CONTINUED