Exercises
‘“Relax” he said, as the water covered my face.’
“Relax,”, he said as the water covered my face ... well, the remains of my face that is. Strangely I didn’t feel the agony I was expecting. In fact I registered no sensation from the water at all. “There”, he uttered, almost to himself. “Let’s proceed, and if at any time you feel uncomfortable, or want me to stop, let me know ... O.K?” I nodded as there appeared little else to do. Slowly I was lowered into the tank. Every second seemed to stretch lengthily. Random memories replayed themselves as I went down to peace, to inevitability. It was obvious I was damaged beyond repair — even to the sophisticated science of the time. Finally I felt a little click — as he introduced the conductivness into the pure de-oxygenated water. My cells began to fuse, and as the power packs in my feet short-circuited ... I was at last set free from my program.
by William Bowden
“Relax,” he said, as the water covered my face.
I resisted the urge to close my mouth and I let it the fluid pour down my gullet, filling every crinkle of lungs.
His voice was softer in my ears, but the vibrations resonated strongly.
Breathe naturally.
My lungs heaved, unused to the density, but my thoughts cleared with the rush of oxygen. The surface sparkled above, but I was no longer of that world.
I rolled and headed down into the green depths.
by Michele deBes
“Relax,” he said, as the water covered my face. It was a revolutionary new treatment, guaranteed to remove my blemish once and for all. My eyes were held closed by the gelatinous mask. A straw like device — maybe more like a snorkel — had been inserted in my mouth, and a small plastic peg on my nose. It was hard not to panic.
It was important that I did not move. Apparently. So my hands and feet had been gently bound to the stainless steel table by large soft rubber bands. The water was cold, and I could feel my skin beneath it grow colder, thicken, and turn to ice. I clenched my fists, but they loosened as I felt the warm tingles of a second dose travelling up the vein of my left arm.
Breathe in ... 2 ... 3 ... pause. Out ... 2 ... 3 ... the skin on my face had turned rock hard. I felt if I moved the smallest muscle it would break and shatter. I tried to open my eyes, but the gelatinous cubes stung. then I found I couldn’t close them.
Panic set in. I thrashed at my restraints. I waited for the reassuring murmur. None came. Instead — a hollow ,tinny laughter. Small. Then bigger. then loud — as the water poured down the straw.
by Karen Goldrick
“Relax,” he said, as the water covered my face.
I sank back into the still calm. My vision blurred, but I could still hear clearly.
“Relax,” I heard him say again to the person beside me. “Relax, relax” His voice moved slowly down the line.
I became aware of other sounds as his voice faded. The water was lapping gently with a faint hiss that seemed in time with my heart. Faintly I could hear someone crying, and his voice soothing them.
“Relax, relax”
The crying increased, almost like a shriek now, and suddenly I became aware that the person beside me was nudging my arm. I opened my hand and they threaded their fingers through mine. I gripped tightly back.
The voice came again. “Relax, relax,” and finally the shrieking calmed, then quietened.
“Relax, relax.”
I closed my eyes, and gradually all sound disappeared. Even his voice.
by Pil Lee
“Relax,” he said as the water covered my face.
For a moment all I could hear was a muffled watery voice and then, quite abruptly and clearly, “Praise be to Jesus!” as a dozen pairs of hands pulled me from the river.The things I’ve done to win a bet. Still, I can’t say I regret most of them. Certainly, being baptized was a notch up from losing the little finger on my left hand, and quite a bit less painful.
The problem was that I had to collect my winnings and that wasn’t going to be easy now I was out here in the bayou twenty miles from New Orleans and in a compound ringed by triple layers of barbed-wire fence patrolled by at least (on a quick count) twenty Dobermans and one crazed Pekinese.
by Peter Miller
Relax, he said, as the water covered my face. I fought back the urge to spit and swallowed deeply. The water filled my stomach and then overflowed into my lungs. I felt the levels rise within me until I was full. I sank to the bottom and crawled over to a chair. Around me swam waiters and waitresses delivering impossible quantities of food to the hundreds of guests around me. I smiled thinly at an attractive woman nearby. I let go an air bubble from my mouth and she turned away in disgust. Air bubbles are so infra-dig.
by Simon von Wolkenstein
‘William’s head was very smooth. Too smooth.’
William’s head was very smooth, too smooth, and it offered precious little resistance to the snow — as it went sliding along at breakneck speed. No doubt it would have looked quite humorous had any spectator been watching. William’s insane idea — of holding a yoga class at the top of the glacier — had immediately had him banned from the Iyenga Yoga Association. In fact, all his former students had shunned him following the disbarment. So he was forced to pursue the dream alone, the somewhat bizarre vision that had flashed before his eyes as Madame Souvlaki had adjusted his 4th chakkra. Still, William hadn’t bargained on the difficulty of his favourite position ... the headstand. And now, as careered out of control down the mountain. He wished he’d stayed home in bed ... and kept his head.
by William Bowden
William’s head was very smooth. Too smooth. He stood in front of his bathroom mirror — wiping away the fog that resulted from an overlong shower. It wasn’t working.
“Guaranteed to work,” the add had proclaimed — on the third last page of his ‘Fantastic Four’ comic. ‘A complete head of hair in thirty days.’
So he’d painted on the thick green glug, let it set and dry, and left it in place — as instructed — for 30 days. Finally, today, he’d washed it off. Scraped it off, more like. Finally. And stood in front of the mirror.
by Karen Goldrick
William’s head was very smooth, too smooth. I should have sent him back and ordered another but it was late and I was bored and I was stuck in Marrakesh for another 48 hours. What the hell.
“Hey smooth head” I called out, “Get your arse over here”.
William ran forward and knelt before me, his head encircled by a tatoo of a snake. I leant forward and licked the top of his head until it was completely wet. I leant back and grabbed a handful of olives and henna and rubbed them into his scalp until he looked like Brainiac, Superman’s arch foe.